Thursday, April 28, 2011

Some recent thoughts

For my dad's birthday a couple of days ago we made a homemade (Except for the crust!) graham cracker crust strawberry agave yogurt pie! It was lovely. I tried to channel a little Julia Child/Martha Stewart with the decoration on top...ha. It tasted yummy though! Ignore the frozen peas in the background.

Lately I have been struggling with the deeper meanings of my outward struggle with my weight. For some people they just really love food...way too much. For me it's partly that, but also dealing with the emotional and spiritual reason for why I overeat. Lots of great breakthroughs and God is showing me a ton! It's almost too much for this 18 hours of school tak'n girl, but I am surviving!

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

A little disaster

It's always more fun reading about other people's mishaps. I love laughing with them (never at!) but when it comes to my own disasters it can be just as funny as long as you have the right attitude. I try. I really do!

I was doing my hair in the bathroom getting ready to leave for the night when all of a sudden all hell breaks loose. The hose from the wall to the toilet came undone and started spraying water all over the place!

I shrieked and ran out of the bathroom not knowing what to do. Thankfully at mom and dad's place we've had lots of toilet disasters and I knew how to turn the water off, but not before I was soaked (white t-shirt...lovely!) I turned the knob the wrong way at first and got freaked out that it was broken, too. Nope. Just turned it the other way and then there was silence all except for the water dripping off of me, the wall, and the sloshing of water on the floor.

A call to the landlord was in order. Hopefully we'll get that fixed today. There was probably 1-2 inches of water on the floor. About ten towels were used and also my fan was deployed for duty. The best part of the night was reenacting my experience for my roommates who got a kick out my horrified facial expressions. Whew. I am so glad that is over.

We have another bathroom near the kitchen, but we don't like to use that one because there have been several roach sightings. Still when you have to have to go.

Saturday, March 19, 2011

5K results!

I did something today I couldn't imagine doing in '07. I jogged/fast walked a 5k! I am so proud of myself and I feel so blessed that God gave me this gift. Even though I hate the treadmill with a passion (documented here) I felt so excited to be doing the 5k finally! I have my sights set on a 10k in June. It leaves me around 14 weeks to get to where I won't pass out after the 4.5 mile marker! My time was 40:56 which my brother who is a Marine says that I am shuffling, but he is just being annoying!

It's just going to get better!

I am looking at this training schedule:

June here I come!

Friday, March 18, 2011

Lazy Afternoon

I woke up this morning with a lovely bloodshot eye, but the upside was that I had to see the eye doctor anyways this morning. All is well. Most likely allergies. I got a new queen mattress so that is where I have been hanging out with my beagle/dachshund/terrier mix Gabby. I have also been trying to figure out my last semester of college. I desperately want out now, but that elusive piece of paper is only going to be available to me in December. It will be here before I know it.

Sunday, March 13, 2011

On the Flipside

One of the hardest things I had to do this past week was watch my brother walk away from me under the hazy lights outside of a motel. I got three amazing days of on and off goofy fun with him (he still had to work in the midst of our visit) and it was a gift. I was thankful for all of that time. I knew going into it that it was going to be extremely painful at the end of the trip. I tried to ignore it the whole time I was there with him that I was going to have to say goodbye.

Being on the base was another reminder of how much of a different world it is!

This is from Dunkin' Donuts after my parents and I went for a workout. Let me tell you running down a path with military vehicles flying by you on the highway slightly humorous.

It was a wonderful trip. It was filled with a lot of souvenir hunting and t shirt buying. Most of all it was fun hanging out with little bro!

This was my favorite item at the PX. I want one if I ever get an office job.

It's going to be a long year without him, but I know God is with him and I know He will teach us both amazing things!

Saturday, March 5, 2011

Take a Walk On the Not so Wild Side

It got a little chilly here, but I still had to get out and walk as the sun is setting. Spring is starting to pop out all over the place. I hope we don't have another freeze. I love seeing the dogwood trees in bloom.
It's really cool to me to feel God close by while I'm walking. It could just be the feeling of the sun on my face and the cool breeze at my back that just reminds me that he loves me enough to create a planet with seasons. Can you imagine summer all year long or winter forever?
One of the only things I like about my astronomy class for school is the fact that I can continually see the tiny things God did when he created the earth so that we don't freeze to death or get stun gunned by the power of the Sun!

Friday, March 4, 2011


Sometimes life is weird. God throws you curve balls and you have to rely on him as they come. My sweet brother is in the Marine Corps and is going to be deploying very soon. First he had told us that it would be six months from now and now it has been moved up. I am very sad. He will be gone longer than we thought too. I always get teary-eyed when I see the ROTC students on my campus in their uniforms on Thursdays. I am so proud of our Military. Keep them in your prayers.

My sweet dog Gabby. I don't know what I would do with out my little sweet girlie!

Thursday, March 3, 2011

Mean Girls

I was reading my bible this morning. Truth be told I am in Romans when I should be in 1 Chronicles (the genealogies were killing me!) I have developed a new love for Paul. I listen to Matt Chandler of the Village church a lot (podcasts are awesome!) and he always says how excited Paul was for Jesus.

Pharisees: "We are going to put you in prison!"
Paul: "Jesus suffered and died for me so this is the least I can do!"
Townspeople: "We're going to stone you!"
Paul: "To die is gain!"

I thoroughly enjoy Paul's attitude and zeal for Christ. It convicts me about my own walk with God as well as encourages me. The fact that Paul had a thorn in his flesh also intrigues me. I'm walking through some really interesting "thorns" right now and so reading and learning from Paul who was in the midst of his "thorn" really helps me.

I was reading today about God's righteous judgment.

Romans 2:1-4
1 You, therefore, have no excuse, you who pass judgment on someone else, for at whatever point you judge another, you are condemning yourself, because you who pass judgment do the same things. 2 Now we know that God’s judgment against those who do such things is based on truth. 3 So when you, a mere human being, pass judgment on them and yet do the same things, do you think you will escape God’s judgment? 4 Or do you show contempt for the riches of his kindness, forbearance and patience, not realizing that God’s kindness is intended to lead you to repentance?

Uh. Yeah. Now you're connecting the Mean Girl's poster to Paul. Thought I was crazy right? All I have to say is thank you Jesus for the gift of salvation and redemption, because I have done the judgment gift pretty much every day since I was born. This chapter hit me like a ton of bricks. I need to read Paul more often.

Tuesday, March 1, 2011


I was biking to class today with the glorious 50 degree temps and blue sky around me and I had a conversation with God. I love those tiny thoughts that pop into your head that could be from no other source but Jesus.
It went something like this:
Me: "I wish I was normal." (Regarding all of my past and current health issues)
God: "I know, but I made you to be extraordinary. You asked me to make you a woman after my heart and that takes trials and hard times to bring you closer to me."


This was my blessing before school today. What an amazing blessing it is.

I am waiting until the 10th for any news regarding my MRI so still hanging in there.



Friday, February 25, 2011

How Am I?

Doctor: "How are you with tight spaces?"

Oh the joys of MRI's. I hope I don't freak out. I didn't last time. Hopefully they'll let me play my music, but listening to Mr. Bublé might make me want to jam out in the claustrophobic space.

I've been having tingling and pressure in the back of my head for the past two-ish years so I am having to continue my journey of finding out what that is.

I have my prayer warriors on it and God is with me.

See ya'll on the flipside!

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Mostly Raw Day 1

I have an addiction to peanut butter. Somewhere I am sure there is a group that would take me in. PBOA (Peanut Butter Over-eaters Anonymous ) would be our group name. It's not the best nut butter out there, because apparently it's a fungus that grows on the ground (awesome right?), but my love affair will not wane!

Anyways can you tell I'm in a creative writing class right now? Pretty outrageous stuff.
r my first mostly raw day I had some Chia seed pudding. This stuff is amazing. When you soak it the little seeds puff up into a gel like substance. My pudding was yum!As you can see!

Raw 'Rice Pudding'
4-5 tbsp chia seed
2 cups almond milk
raw honey or agave syrup to taste

Combine the ingredients to your taste. Leave the chia to soak for at least 10 minutes before consuming. You can also add other flavours like vanilla, cinnamon or cardamom.
(Recipe from Raw Reform)

I love Lysa TerKeurst! She is the sweet woman who wrote my new favorite book Made to Crave! Buy it! It changes how you think about eating and what God says about food! I thought I would direct you guys over to a great blog for some encouragement.

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

My Arch Enemy...the Treadmill

They look so innocent sitting there in the corner waiting to be turned on with a touch of a button. I hate them so! I wish I was the kind of person who enjoyed working out, but alas God gave me the joy of loving to paint and not sweat. I still do it, but I hate every moment of it. I've been trying to think of ways to change my attitude. It's not easy.

I praise God as I am running for the gift of being able to move my body. So much different than three or four years ago! Still I hate that treadmill.

Friday, February 18, 2011

A Step Forward

I've shared my desire (and subsequent failure) at eating raw foods before, but now it looks like I am returning to the land of the hippies. I've struggled after my previous battle with POTS and nervous system drama to find my ideal weight. Looking back at my high school years I don't feel like I was there either. I ate pretty horribly then and when I was sick with POTS. Now it feels like a huge DUH! moment. I should be eating the natural medicine and nutrients that God gave us (this doesn't mean I don't crave a good cinnamon roll or Cardiac fries, which are delicious little morsels of fry with cheese, bacon, and ranch) and not like I used to. After being sick I was very rigid about what I ate...then college snuck up on me. I have been praying about where God wants me to be. The world's standard of a size 0 is probably not going to be me. I come from a line of women with some curve. All in all I struggle with the desire to fit into the world and the desire to follow after God.

Anyways! Long tangent to say that I will be doing a raw food cleanse for about two weeks to hopefully lose those pesky college pounds! I am following the guidelines from Penni Shelton's Raw Food Cleanse book. The recipes look yummy!

I am also excited and blessed to say I am training for a 5k happening in March! Wooohoooo. Well wooooohoo that i'm doing this, not so much the actual training part.

The treadmill and I have a love/hate relationship. I hate it until I can get it off. Then I love it.

Thursday, February 17, 2011

A day of grace

This morning I got up at the unreasonable hour of 5:15 am. Unreasonable for two reasons (wait...I think that defeats the purpose of being unreasonable...oh well) 1. is that I am a night owl and I usually don't get up until 8 or 9 (gotta love the life of a college student) 2. is that when you wake up that early you have breakfast early then you want to have lunch at about 9:30. But this morning, before the birds even woke up, I got to hear two amazing Godly women talk about self image and true beauty when it comes to living in this world. Funnily enough Satan decided to hound me for the very healthy breakfast I was eating. His goal? To destroy me so I would be more focused on what I ate than on the important things that were going to be said.

Here are some of the truths that we learned today:
1. The factors involved in self esteem are: upbringing (good or bad), circumstances (again good or bad), your own perception of yourself, and the media.
2. The temptation is to believe these ideas about yourself.
3. TRUTH: No man, no pain, and no circumstance defines who you truly are...not even the mirror in your bathroom.
4. When we focus on ourselves and what we would change or how we don't measure up we are putting ourselves before God and making ourselves an idol.
5. We don't need anymore self help books. They pretty much all fail because they are relying on earthly power. What we need is Jesus Christ. We need to listen to him about what he says is beautiful and we can find that in the bible.
6. You become what you behold. If you are focused on what the media says about beauty or how you should be then that is what you will focus on and idolize.

Philippians 2:3-4 Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of others.

This is so true. After we pull our eyes off of ourselves we need to focus on the things Jesus says is true.

Eph 2:10 Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; You were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.

I know the world bombards us with how we should look. One day it is ok to be curvy, the next it's better to be skinny. God created all body types and He created each of us. We need to remember these truths and rest in them. The world changes the standard of beauty daily. God always calls us beautiful because He is the ultimate Artist and Creator.

Now is the moment for me to choose countless times a day. Will I listen to the voice that tells me I already failed because I had a piece of chocolate or I didn't work out today? Or will I listen to the One who created me to enjoy food in moderation (as my counselor would say "He gave us taste buds didn't He?") and to run and walk and be outside and feel a peace about my life?